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Marketing, Pub Management

52 Funniest Pub Chalkboard Signs

June 9, 2015

Pulling punters into your pub can be difficult at the best of times. Sometimes the answer is to make people stop and think by simply being that little bit different with your advertising and marketing.

Word-of-mouth is often one of the best tools for gaining new customers – in any business. And what better way of encouraging it, than with a spot of humour? Why not put a funny new message on a blackboard sign outside your pub every week of the year, to boost your business – and get your locals talking? We run professional Chalkboard Courses if you need any more help.

Here are 52 hilarious pub blackboard signs to get your creative juices flowing and get droves of new customers laughing through your door.

Alcohol. Because no great story ever started with a guy having a salad.

I saved some beer today. It was trapped in a bottle.

Today's special: Buy one beer for the price of two and receive a second beer absolutely free! — Today’s special: Buy one beer for the price of two and receive a second beer absolutely free!

Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards & poor decisions

You are very ... booze ... thirsty — You are very … booze … thirsty

There are better things in the world than alcohol. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them

Drink plenty of water in this heat. Beer is made up of 97% water.

Hungry? We will feed you. Thirsty? We will get you drunk. Lonely? ... We will get you drunk — Hungry? We will feed you. Thirsty? We will get you drunk. Lonely? … We will get you drunk

We have beers as cold as your ex's heart — We have beers as cold as your ex’s heart

Has your dog died? Worried about the size of your penis? Found out your husband is gay? Starting to find animals attractive? You can numb these problems temporarily with the help of ... BOOZE!! Remember: The more you drink, the less you worry. — Has your dog died? Worried about the size of your penis? Found out your husband is gay? Starting to find animals attractive? You can numb these problems temporarily with the help of … BOOZE!! Remember: The more you drink, the less you worry.

Sweet Dreams are made of cheese, who am I to dis a brie?

Soup of the day - whiskey — Soup of the day – whiskey

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It will rain now I've put this board out — It will rain now I’ve put this board out

Today's offer. Buy any 2 drinks & pay for them both... — Today’s offer. Buy any 2 drinks & pay for them both…

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Poems are hard... BEER — Roses are red. Violets are blue. Poems are hard… BEER

If I only wanted one drink I'd go to communion — If I only wanted one drink I’d go to communion

Have you been injured in a work place accident? No? Well, you're not drinking enough at lunchtime. Let us help you win thousands of pounds. No gin, no fee. — Have you been injured in a work place accident? No? Well, you’re not drinking enough at lunchtime. Let us help you win thousands of pounds. No gin, no fee.

The NAKED truth about our WAITRESSES is they only FLIRT WITH YOU to get better tips.

Nice drinks. Dunno... Maybe bears. Wouldn't risk it. — Nice drinks. Dunno… Maybe bears. Wouldn’t risk it.

When life gives you lemons ... ask for salt and tequila — When life gives you lemons … ask for salt and tequila

Is everything ok? Yes - come and have a drink. No - come and have a drink. — Is everything ok? Yes – come and have a drink. No – come and have a drink.

If you don't drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2am? — If you don’t drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2am?

You know what's fun about being sober? NOTHING — You know what’s fun about being sober? NOTHING

Water for your dogs ... or short people with low standards. We don't judge. — Water for your dogs … or short people with low standards. We don’t judge.

Dinosaurs didn't drink, and now they're extinct. Coincidence ???? — Dinosaurs didn’t drink, and now they’re extinct. Coincidence ????

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Free beer, topless bartenders & false advertising

After Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F

Beer is made from hops. Hops are healthy plants. Beer = Salad. (you're welcome) — Beer is made from hops. Hops are healthy plants. Beer = Salad. (you’re welcome)

Beer in not the answer ... it's the question (the answer is yes) — Beer in not the answer … it’s the question (the answer is yes)

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy

You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer and that's almost the same thing — You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer and that’s almost the same thing

Beer. So much more than just a breakfast drink.

I don't want to get technical or anything. But according to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution. — I don’t want to get technical or anything. But according to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.

Remember, stressed is desserts spelled backwards

Entrance to Narnia. Imaginative people only.

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy" - Frank Sinatra — “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy” – Frank Sinatra

Whisky helps me appreciate the small things in life – like shot glasses

Every now and again you need to get wasted. How 'bout now? — Every now and again you need to get wasted. How ’bout now?

Happy Birthday. (One in every 365 people will think this sign is spooky)

Our coffee is an experience that chalk is unable to convey.

Special offer – Give us money, we give you beer

I'll trade ya my air-conditioning for your sobriety — I’ll trade ya my air-conditioning for your sobriety

Guys: No shirt – no service. Ladies: No shirt – no charge.

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This Headline Grabs Visitors’ Attention

A short description introducing your business and the services to visitors.

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52 Funniest Pub Chalkboard Signs

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This Headline Grabs Visitors’ Attention

A short description introducing your business and the services to visitors.